An Essentially Lost Feeling

Awake, the child screams,
Never really expecting the unexpected feeling of being alone.

Euphoric feeling of the senses, it's
Seeking out the calm in the night and bringing
Solitude to creatures
Eternally, nature wants to escape its pain,
Never knowing that it will one day be gone like the
Truth of a loved one that
Isn't really there
And only exists in your mind but if you
Let love grow from within, you'll find the
Light that it gives off and
You'll glow.

Let us
Open the window until we can hardly breathe
Suffocating on the poisons of the air, only
The cool of the night, will let us relax.

Fade into the
Evergreen and get lost in its ideas
Every once in a while you'll feel a stoke of
Luck, that'll blind you and bring you to your senses, let me give you an
Incentive on the
New law and watch as the wild
Grows around you, sweeping you off your feet, like a dream.

i wish i could pour out everything that got mixed up when the pitcher got stirred.
separate all of the substances that were combined
and set them aside

my mind has been a mess lately
i can`t concentrate
i keep getting paranoid off and on
i keep getting dizzy spells
and this ringing in my ears

"we used to believe in the bood ole' days."

the honest fact that some people are dead
makes me want to cry
like jim morrison for example
'cherise, go get a life.'

"see if you can catch this one."

(L)

Remember when I used to send you those letters?

under the covers
behind closed doors
the window opened
the walls caved in
the roof collapsed

memory is a loss
and in account of your loss
the dandelion seeds spread themselves out over the fields
we watched the stars fall from the sky and cascade into the darkness
creatures being released into the night
underneath the gale moonlight
shining overhead
those lights
those bright city lights
they dance in the distance
and put you at ease
but are you really at ease?
i have all these emotions that i cannot describe anymore, or bring myself to show them.
sometimes, i'll think of you sometimes, i'll think of you holding me

"i'll only hope, that you'll hold me now
till i can gain control again"

I forgot

i forgot that my shoes are soaked
inside and out, outside and in
when i closed the door
the gloomy skies
followed me in

open the window and let the rain pour in

when the rain falls, hard down on the windshield. i'll only have these memories to hold onto. when the heavy rain sweeps me away from under my feet and brings me to a river - in which i see you sitting upon rocks by the shore, singing softly along with the birds.
the nature will contrast off your skin and you'll glow from within. forgive me, for i cannot suppress how i feel.
i want to love you so bad, but selfishness has swept over me like a heavy rain cloud. i can't bring myself to express those emotions towards you.
when we stepped into the wilderness; there were seas of green and oceans of blue, surrounding us . when we walked into the clearing the wind played with our hair and made us smiled at it's foolishness. there was a river beyond the forest, it was peaceful there. with the birds singing softly, delicately and the river flowing so steadily

the feelings you receive are only the feelings that press me from telling you how i feel.
opening up the package is like dropping a bomb.
break down, majortime.
and in front of you? i can't picture it right

i can't picture these walls right
drinking muddy water through a straw
to get to the bottom of everything.

it's raining again
just like it has basically all week
off and on
usually through the night
im sure it would seep in through a sieve into my room if i let it


-ps. expect a more meaningful post sometime in two months.