This is a build up.
A fuck up.
A break down.
A let down.
A God damned mis-fortune.
Creating a new Blogger for my photos. Once it's up, I'll post the link on here.
:D
You will find that within time,
Old friends grow stale if you never see them and they've moved.
And then you'll know that the relationship only seems to exist by contact online.
Old friends grow stale if you never see them and they've moved.
And then you'll know that the relationship only seems to exist by contact online.
Hey, remember when Sinatra sung flat accidentally in one of his songs?
I'll meet you in Antarctica.
The sun will be shining,
The snow glistening.
There's a storm brewing outside my window.
Countless crimes being comitted all around me.
Remember when the light was so blinding?
Remember when the ground was so hot it burned our feet to a cinder?
If you listen really closly, Harry Connick Jr.'s voice in some tones, resembles Sinatra's.\
The sun will be shining,
The snow glistening.
There's a storm brewing outside my window.
Countless crimes being comitted all around me.
Remember when the light was so blinding?
Remember when the ground was so hot it burned our feet to a cinder?
If you listen really closly, Harry Connick Jr.'s voice in some tones, resembles Sinatra's.\
This is making me crazy, I'm going to loose my mind, go insane.
For the most part, I wish I had something really stable to write about. Something that held some kind of significant meaning in my life. Something that acually meant something, something that was actually real.
I hate days when I get like this.
Days when I feel so completely worthless.
Thank God for you though.
I hate days when I get like this.
Days when I feel so completely worthless.
Thank God for you though.
"I write about false emotions. All of these things on here never actually happened. I really wish they did though, with someone special."
See the blue sky above,
And the green grass below.
Oh how I wish things were so much easier.
Two more weeks before you leave for the deep blue sea.
All of our memories lay fresh in my mind.
I promise not to forget you.
Please oh please let me know how much this means to you.
And if you told me you were leaving today,
If you told me we'd never see each other again,
Well I'd build a ship, I'd build a ship and sail out to you.
Of course you know that things never go the way we wish them to between us.
We took old polaroids of the sky.
We wrote down the pretty things that came to mind.
I'll hold my breath and wait for you.
There's nothing I can do to keep myself from loving you.
Do you remember that night when we stayed up past four and laughed at all the things gone wrong in our relationship?
Where do we go now?
I could be there for you if only you'd let me in.
Ps. the twelfth, thirteenth and fourteenth line were written by Chloe. Which pretty much inspired this whole thing.
And the green grass below.
Oh how I wish things were so much easier.
Two more weeks before you leave for the deep blue sea.
All of our memories lay fresh in my mind.
I promise not to forget you.
Please oh please let me know how much this means to you.
And if you told me you were leaving today,
If you told me we'd never see each other again,
Well I'd build a ship, I'd build a ship and sail out to you.
Of course you know that things never go the way we wish them to between us.
We took old polaroids of the sky.
We wrote down the pretty things that came to mind.
I'll hold my breath and wait for you.
There's nothing I can do to keep myself from loving you.
Do you remember that night when we stayed up past four and laughed at all the things gone wrong in our relationship?
Where do we go now?
I could be there for you if only you'd let me in.
Ps. the twelfth, thirteenth and fourteenth line were written by Chloe. Which pretty much inspired this whole thing.
I hope that when you leave, everything around you reminds you of here. And hopefully, you'll feel the need of not wanting to live anymore.
When you wake up, you will be alone and be overcome by pain and guilt, and it will be the worst feeling in the world that you have ever felt, and it will follow you for many years to come.
I've come to understand that the sun and the moon don't shine in the same sky.
Why would they ever want to do that and share happiness?
But perhaps, just maybe, maybe they're just as lonely as I.
Why would they ever want to do that and share happiness?
But perhaps, just maybe, maybe they're just as lonely as I.
There's no more.
I can't find peace.
Not with my friends.
Not at home.
Not when I am very much alone.
I can't find happiness.
I can't find joy.
There is no more left.
Not with my friends.
Not at home.
Not when I am very much alone.
I can't find happiness.
I can't find joy.
There is no more left.
Where are you?
Where are you, my kindred spirit?
Where have you flown to?
To the far east in search of happiness,
To roam the lands of Quebec, and sulk in sorrow.
Where are you, my kindred spirit?
Where have you flown to?
Perhaps you're wallowing in the seas of Europe.
Perhaps you gone to find someone new.
Where are you, my kindred spirit?
Where have you flown to?
To the east in search of peace and joy.
To roam the coastlines of Vancouver.
Where are you, my kindred spirit?
Where have you flown to?
Perhaps you've gone to all the places I've wished to have been.
Perhaps you've met death, met the light,
But you came back in sheer fright.
Where are you, my kindred spirit?
Where have you flown to?
Because only God knows,
Only He knows that I need you.
Where have you flown to?
To the far east in search of happiness,
To roam the lands of Quebec, and sulk in sorrow.
Where are you, my kindred spirit?
Where have you flown to?
Perhaps you're wallowing in the seas of Europe.
Perhaps you gone to find someone new.
Where are you, my kindred spirit?
Where have you flown to?
To the east in search of peace and joy.
To roam the coastlines of Vancouver.
Where are you, my kindred spirit?
Where have you flown to?
Perhaps you've gone to all the places I've wished to have been.
Perhaps you've met death, met the light,
But you came back in sheer fright.
Where are you, my kindred spirit?
Where have you flown to?
Because only God knows,
Only He knows that I need you.
I was never really one for Christianity,
But something's drawn me in to the religion.
-cl.
ps. I have a huge liking for rosary's.
But something's drawn me in to the religion.
-cl.
ps. I have a huge liking for rosary's.
Y'know, I always find it hard,
Hard picking which book my glorious eyes will lay themselves upon.
I can never really figure out what I want to read.
Hard picking which book my glorious eyes will lay themselves upon.
I can never really figure out what I want to read.
"Remember," she spoke, "Remember Michael, be careful. Don't get caught."
We were speeding down the highway, smoke escaping our car. The year was 1967 and life couldn't have possibly been better. I mean how could it not be? Myself and Stevie were the big psychedelic drug dealers around Venice in Los Angeles. In fact, if I can recall we had once sold to a man named Jim Morrison. However with the fact that my mind is now fried, I haven't a clue if that was him or not, or if I was in fact strung out on Cocaine or LSD.
That day had been like any other day really. The sky was blue, great music was pouring out of our royal blue 63' Mustang. We were on our way to sell some of our illegal substances to anyone who wanted them, to anyone who was willing to experience what everyone was now so fondly talking about. And to anyone who wanted to further their mind into the world of psychedelics. I remember that me and Stevie were smoking a doobie and every street we turned, there seemed to be a police car.
I believe that it was somewhere around the afternoon time when we were driving to Long Beach. We were going to pick up my gorgeous sun blond haired beauty. She of course was skinny, like that of most women around the area. Her eyes were that like the vibrant sky. And her name was Catherine. We were about halfway there when The Doors had started to blare from the radio station. I smiled at this and finished off the joint.
"Stevie man, life is great. Life is just fucking great. Y'know that? It's the best it could ever be," I said. "I mean look man, we're getting big money from dealing all of this acid...it's just great."
"Far out man," he replied. "Far fucking out."
I closed my eyes and laughed a bit, "Man, we're gods. Yah see? God made the man who made this drug, God made it so that we would be these big riches. Who would've thought we'd be these big riches. And from selling acid! Radical."
"Ahhhhh!" Stevie yelled, or sang, "Come on baby light my fireee, come on baby light my fire. Try to set the night on FIREEEEEEEEE-AHHHH!"
Stevie, let me describe him. He was my partner in crime; partner in drug trade rather. We had known each other for longer than I can remember. And I couldn't imagine us doing anything else with our life's then just this. I mean of course, it was a terrible job to do, but we gave the people what they needed most.
What I remember happening then was that we had visited Catherine, spared her some acid for free - as always, and were now walking along the beach. I still remember the cool of the summer's sand crawling in between my toes. The sun was setting now, and it looked beautiful. Stevie and I had taken a hit of acid about a few minutes before and were now waiting for the effects. For as long as I can recall, I never had a bad trip. And I was grateful for that, because I saw what they did to Stevie. I don't remember much of that trip though to share. Although, I do remember waking up on a huge rock that was by the ocean water. And Stevie himself was laying upon the sand.
When we got to the car that day, something felt off. Or it felt like something bad was about to happen, but I brushed this off. I remember how when we got into that car we were high as a kite. Obviously due to the weed we had smoke, the huge amount of weed that was. I remember feeling like I was unstoppable, but the events that were very soon to follow would prove otherwise.
We were driving back to Venice when it had happened. Our minds are swarming around in the weed and we were still psyched out from the acid the night before. I don't remember all of what happened in between our leave from Long Beach back to Venice. However, what I do remember was that we were waiting for the light to turn green and there was a police cruiser beside us. It didn't get the either of us paranoid though when usually it would have. It seemed though that since we had left Long Beach, they were following us - and we were never aware. And as soon as that light turned green, when we had turned left, the police turned on their sirens. This had startled me quite. I was aware that we still had pounds of weed in the trunk, and tons of blotter papers. When Stevie pulled over, he had his eyes fixed on me. We both knew the consequences of having this in our possession, and being high.
The only thing I remember is them seizing all of those drugs, those glorious drugs that got me and Stevie through the days, the drugs that had kept us off the streets by selling them. Sometimes, when I am lonely in this ole' prison cell, I think of all those glorious days when we were untouchable.
That day had been like any other day really. The sky was blue, great music was pouring out of our royal blue 63' Mustang. We were on our way to sell some of our illegal substances to anyone who wanted them, to anyone who was willing to experience what everyone was now so fondly talking about. And to anyone who wanted to further their mind into the world of psychedelics. I remember that me and Stevie were smoking a doobie and every street we turned, there seemed to be a police car.
I believe that it was somewhere around the afternoon time when we were driving to Long Beach. We were going to pick up my gorgeous sun blond haired beauty. She of course was skinny, like that of most women around the area. Her eyes were that like the vibrant sky. And her name was Catherine. We were about halfway there when The Doors had started to blare from the radio station. I smiled at this and finished off the joint.
"Stevie man, life is great. Life is just fucking great. Y'know that? It's the best it could ever be," I said. "I mean look man, we're getting big money from dealing all of this acid...it's just great."
"Far out man," he replied. "Far fucking out."
I closed my eyes and laughed a bit, "Man, we're gods. Yah see? God made the man who made this drug, God made it so that we would be these big riches. Who would've thought we'd be these big riches. And from selling acid! Radical."
"Ahhhhh!" Stevie yelled, or sang, "Come on baby light my fireee, come on baby light my fire. Try to set the night on FIREEEEEEEEE-AHHHH!"
Stevie, let me describe him. He was my partner in crime; partner in drug trade rather. We had known each other for longer than I can remember. And I couldn't imagine us doing anything else with our life's then just this. I mean of course, it was a terrible job to do, but we gave the people what they needed most.
What I remember happening then was that we had visited Catherine, spared her some acid for free - as always, and were now walking along the beach. I still remember the cool of the summer's sand crawling in between my toes. The sun was setting now, and it looked beautiful. Stevie and I had taken a hit of acid about a few minutes before and were now waiting for the effects. For as long as I can recall, I never had a bad trip. And I was grateful for that, because I saw what they did to Stevie. I don't remember much of that trip though to share. Although, I do remember waking up on a huge rock that was by the ocean water. And Stevie himself was laying upon the sand.
When we got to the car that day, something felt off. Or it felt like something bad was about to happen, but I brushed this off. I remember how when we got into that car we were high as a kite. Obviously due to the weed we had smoke, the huge amount of weed that was. I remember feeling like I was unstoppable, but the events that were very soon to follow would prove otherwise.
We were driving back to Venice when it had happened. Our minds are swarming around in the weed and we were still psyched out from the acid the night before. I don't remember all of what happened in between our leave from Long Beach back to Venice. However, what I do remember was that we were waiting for the light to turn green and there was a police cruiser beside us. It didn't get the either of us paranoid though when usually it would have. It seemed though that since we had left Long Beach, they were following us - and we were never aware. And as soon as that light turned green, when we had turned left, the police turned on their sirens. This had startled me quite. I was aware that we still had pounds of weed in the trunk, and tons of blotter papers. When Stevie pulled over, he had his eyes fixed on me. We both knew the consequences of having this in our possession, and being high.
The only thing I remember is them seizing all of those drugs, those glorious drugs that got me and Stevie through the days, the drugs that had kept us off the streets by selling them. Sometimes, when I am lonely in this ole' prison cell, I think of all those glorious days when we were untouchable.
Just a collection of what's currently going through my head.
They put us up on roof tops and hung us dry.
They showed us how our life might, and could be destroyed by the snap of a finger.
You promised me that you would take me out one of these nights.
You promised me that you would pull the moon down from the sky for me.
You promised me roses and cameos on the night you left.
I haven't seen you since, nor have you lived up to these promises.
"Kid, you've lost all hope. I mean look at yourself. You're a bloody mess! That's what you are, and all you'll ever be to anyone. You're never gonna change kid, I mean face it. The fact is true and right. And you're going to have to face it! You have no purpose anymore in the world. You're just simply a waste of space, time, air, and life. Yes, that's what you are - a waste. However you're a damn good looking waste if I'd say so myself."
Do you recall those summer nights in Spain,
Those summer nights when we would sit out on the terrace and just talk and talk and talk. So on and so fourth.
Do you remember when those beautiful winter days seemed so endless?
When the sun was setting and there was the beautiful array of colors dancing upon the pastel blue of the sky.
But sometimes, the clouds were dark then.
He's got those eyes.
Those eyes that dart back and fourth when he's nervous.
He's got those looks, those gorgeous looks.
And he's got that wonderful wit.
The day's are laid out upon the table.
They play on like a play by Shakespeare.
The morning, first is dark.
Then it warms up to a blue, going from dark to light.
And how it plays with such colors upon the waking sky.
Making you wish you were at home again.
Then comes the afternoon, sweet and full of bliss.
It's more so the most boring part of the day.
But it is when you write me those letters from your far away home that I cherish so.
And it is when the day is at it's highest point.
Then of course, there comes dusk which leads into the darkened night.
Sometimes the sky will light up like a fire.
Other time's it will just pass on through with it's gorgeous colors.
This part of the day most fascinates you the most of course.
It fascinates you in a way no Shakespeare play ever could, even though you love him so.
Then the very last part,
The end of the day.
And it is at this point and time where you feel as if you've lost complete sanity.
You shaded the picture,
Outlined the words,
Described it in detail.
You explained how one day,
How one day this would end.
Oh but how, how I wish it truly wouldn't.
They showed us how our life might, and could be destroyed by the snap of a finger.
You promised me that you would take me out one of these nights.
You promised me that you would pull the moon down from the sky for me.
You promised me roses and cameos on the night you left.
I haven't seen you since, nor have you lived up to these promises.
"Kid, you've lost all hope. I mean look at yourself. You're a bloody mess! That's what you are, and all you'll ever be to anyone. You're never gonna change kid, I mean face it. The fact is true and right. And you're going to have to face it! You have no purpose anymore in the world. You're just simply a waste of space, time, air, and life. Yes, that's what you are - a waste. However you're a damn good looking waste if I'd say so myself."
Do you recall those summer nights in Spain,
Those summer nights when we would sit out on the terrace and just talk and talk and talk. So on and so fourth.
Do you remember when those beautiful winter days seemed so endless?
When the sun was setting and there was the beautiful array of colors dancing upon the pastel blue of the sky.
But sometimes, the clouds were dark then.
He's got those eyes.
Those eyes that dart back and fourth when he's nervous.
He's got those looks, those gorgeous looks.
And he's got that wonderful wit.
The day's are laid out upon the table.
They play on like a play by Shakespeare.
The morning, first is dark.
Then it warms up to a blue, going from dark to light.
And how it plays with such colors upon the waking sky.
Making you wish you were at home again.
Then comes the afternoon, sweet and full of bliss.
It's more so the most boring part of the day.
But it is when you write me those letters from your far away home that I cherish so.
And it is when the day is at it's highest point.
Then of course, there comes dusk which leads into the darkened night.
Sometimes the sky will light up like a fire.
Other time's it will just pass on through with it's gorgeous colors.
This part of the day most fascinates you the most of course.
It fascinates you in a way no Shakespeare play ever could, even though you love him so.
Then the very last part,
The end of the day.
And it is at this point and time where you feel as if you've lost complete sanity.
You shaded the picture,
Outlined the words,
Described it in detail.
You explained how one day,
How one day this would end.
Oh but how, how I wish it truly wouldn't.
And some nights, like that of last night.
When I stayed up all night.
Nights like those when it feels like I have lost complete sanity,
I like you more than what you are already.
However when I've slept and am awake and aware,
Everything is different.
When I stayed up all night.
Nights like those when it feels like I have lost complete sanity,
I like you more than what you are already.
However when I've slept and am awake and aware,
Everything is different.
Oh how I wish now that you were here.
And how I wish that you could see the freshly fallen snow.
The way that one comes about to do things,
Is not in the same way that one goes about doing things.
I believe that we are all here to do great things,
Not matter how big or small they shall be.
And how I wish that you could see the freshly fallen snow.
The way that one comes about to do things,
Is not in the same way that one goes about doing things.
I believe that we are all here to do great things,
Not matter how big or small they shall be.
You came to me in a dream.
There were birds soaring above your pretty little head, in the sky.
There was a crisp summer breeze blowing through the air,
And it was laced with the slightest bit of cigar smoke.
There were birds soaring above your pretty little head, in the sky.
There was a crisp summer breeze blowing through the air,
And it was laced with the slightest bit of cigar smoke.
When we woke up,
The land was covered in snow and ice.
Thee air was cold, and our bodies shook.
There were birds painted above on the blue sky.
The land was covered in snow and ice.
Thee air was cold, and our bodies shook.
There were birds painted above on the blue sky.
Not sure if I've posted this already. But whatever.
Come here my sweet darling.
I've missed your tender kiss.
And the way you used to smile in the moonlight.
I miss you being near to me.
I miss you holding my hand.
Come here my sweet darling
Come here and stay with me.
Until this night is through.
I've missed your tender kiss.
And the way you used to smile in the moonlight.
I miss you being near to me.
I miss you holding my hand.
Come here my sweet darling
Come here and stay with me.
Until this night is through.
Before you read this, note that this is kind of a short story, but not as long as most short stories tend to be.
But enjoy.
Dear Fiona dearest,
As you know, I am horrible at writing letters - but you're an exception. I cannot begin to explain just how much I miss you; I miss your warm smiled, your soft hanrds in my own rough ones - but more than anything, I miss your presence around me. Even though I know that you're still probably around me in spirit; it's just not the same. I've started accepting the fact that this isn't just another one of your photography trips, and that you're never coming back. It's been about a year now since you've been gone. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I can still feel yor body beside my own. Other times I can hear you singing in the kitchen as you're brewing coffee.
Since you've been gone, I had about five relapses back to alcohol. But still, I cannot drown my sorrows. This is why I have decided to end my pain and suffering without you. I have devoted myself to you and detached myself from everyone else.
I need you to know that this will do more good than bad. And I know that you would want me to pull myself up - but I just can't take this anymoe - I need to be with you again. I also need you to know that this will cause me less pain then the pain of you not being here.
That is all I have left to say.
Not another word.
I love you my dearest, forever and always.
Yours truly, Rick.
But enjoy.
Dear Fiona dearest,
As you know, I am horrible at writing letters - but you're an exception. I cannot begin to explain just how much I miss you; I miss your warm smiled, your soft hanrds in my own rough ones - but more than anything, I miss your presence around me. Even though I know that you're still probably around me in spirit; it's just not the same. I've started accepting the fact that this isn't just another one of your photography trips, and that you're never coming back. It's been about a year now since you've been gone. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I can still feel yor body beside my own. Other times I can hear you singing in the kitchen as you're brewing coffee.
Since you've been gone, I had about five relapses back to alcohol. But still, I cannot drown my sorrows. This is why I have decided to end my pain and suffering without you. I have devoted myself to you and detached myself from everyone else.
I need you to know that this will do more good than bad. And I know that you would want me to pull myself up - but I just can't take this anymoe - I need to be with you again. I also need you to know that this will cause me less pain then the pain of you not being here.
That is all I have left to say.
Not another word.
I love you my dearest, forever and always.
Yours truly, Rick.
I want to dance across the ocean on tippy-toes.
I want to soar across the vast blue ocean of the sky.
I want to soar across the vast blue ocean of the sky.
First post of 09.
I want to know your plans.
Who you're going home with tonight.
I want to know if you'll miss me,
Like I miss you.
Who you're going home with tonight.
I want to know if you'll miss me,
Like I miss you.
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